That constant gnawing fear that sits in our mind and nibbles away at our positive emotions and outlook - that horrible Gollum type creature that resides in our heads that constantly gets us to try on the ring! Our internal dialogue can be so empowering and so destructive. These beliefs can shape our experience – the stronger they are the more we will find evidence to support them.
It’s a common thread that I hear time and time again – (internally and externally)!
From people who sit around a boardroom table or a kitchen table, these mindsets – limiting beliefs – arise time and time again:
“Am I good enough and (when) will I get found out? “
We are all the same.
You are not alone.
I say this to my clients all the time- the last Chief exec I spoke to is saying exactly the same as you.
Whilst all our insecurities and fragmented personality have different nuances there are common threads that exist amongst us.
Having worked with a few people experiencing redundancy you can clearly see the impact of such thought processes. Redundancy fires all of these thoughts!
I even remember myself when I took voluntary redundancy (and was moving to a job with a 30% pay rise) I was devastated when they said yes.
The very fact that they said, “yes” quickly translated (in my head) to
“yes, great, we do not need you, you are not worth keeping, you have been found out – nothing you do is of any value and please leave now”.
(I am known for the dramatic)
Genuinely, I was wildly off kilter when I heard the news.
And that’s when it is good news. The people I am working with now have not had this positioned as good news., it has not been of their choice.
A lack of confidence ensues as the Gollum within us tells us that we have indeed been found out and now everybody knows!
And when we have experiences, many negative emotions come to the forefront. What is important is that we allow ourselves to feel them – we do not have to shy them away or squeeze them down into the black bags of our mind.
In these circumstances, feeling not alright is absolutely – and without question – alright. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel whilst ensuring you have a strong support structure around you. As we said in our “who is at your table?” ebook – ensure you have the right people in the right positions – for you. You need your peers and family to support you and you need your warriors and wizards around you.
The main thing to know is that the majority of beliefs are not necessarily true – we have decided them to be true. This, in turn, sets up a script in our head with multiple chapters of our “limiting beliefs”. We then read from this chapter and set out on a mission to find evidence and extra substance to add to the chapter.
And you are definetly not alone in these thoughts. I really wish I could turn the world into the movie “What women want” starring Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt and take people into the different boardrooms of the largest companies in the world and notice we are all carrying a Gollum, we are all uncertain sometimes and we are all human.
Test your conclusions and question your beliefs as you know that you are capable, you know that you add value and you know that YOU'VE GOT THIS.
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