Do you ever really deal with change?

Do you ever really deal with change?

Or do you just hang onto it by the coat tails and hope you can ride through it? 

I am always one to say I love chaos, I thrive on it, it lights my fire however I also love what I love, I like what I like and really do not want anyone to change that. Ever. 

 

“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end”
Robin Sharma

 

Its emotional, it can forge and break teams and relationships. And we have to go through it in work constantly. And the rate of change is ever faster in this global 24/7 always on culture we operate in. 

So, how do we deal with it? 

We all differ but do all have the same needs. Damian Hughes in his book, “How to change absolutely everything” talks about the four big emotional needs which must be satisfied to prevent stress when making change happen are value, control, belonging and safety.

We all want to feel valued and the language we use can go a long way to help people feel so.  Are you focusing on what IS going right? Often when change happens our mind tends to focus on the wrong, the out of kilter, the misalignment and we forget what it has taken to get us to where we have been. Focus on the bright spots too. 

Control the controllables is a phrase you will hear us say a lot in the office. Feeling in control is paramount for times of change. It's paramount daily – we LOVE control. Our desire for control is powerful and often we act as though we are controlling the uncontrollable. 

We have a need for attachment – for trusting friendships and great teams – for us to belong. Our identity is driven by the relationship with others e.g. you are a father, a sister, a coach, a leader – all of these connections create your identity.  

And as humans we want to be able to speak up, to be confident to voice our opinion without fear of being eaten by a lion! We want safety.

For anyone to go through change and manage the stress that is associated with it; 

  • Focus on the bright spots.  Find out your strengths, (and that of your team if necessary) and work out how you can use these more 
  • Control the controllables. Think about (and list out) all of those things you can do something about – and all of those things that you cannot do something about. Also have a think about the “stop doing list” Danielle LaPorte brings this into play when we are setting goals and this would be a good place to focus on your stop doings. 
  • Who is at your table? Who do you connect with in relation to your goal? Who else do you need in order to make this happen? 
  • Visualise the end goal – focus on it happening. Having your mind focus on what you want rather than what you do want diminished anxiety. 

 

Be a windmill maker. 

 

 

“When the winds of change blow, some people build walls and others build windmills”

Chinese proverb

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